Looking for my right brain

right brainI’ve been hiding, have you noticed?

I make this grand announcement that I have a publishing contract, then I unveil a fantastic new website and then *blink*, I disappear off the face of the internet.

Funny story, that…

I’ve hardly written a thing since making that announcement. Alright, that’s not entirely true. I have written things but they have been awful things with no endings and insipid beginnings and threadbare middles. Ghastly things with no substance. It’s been horrible.

And here’s the thing they don’t tell you about getting your first contract: You do a lot of waiting and while you wait, you can’t write.

It’s not that you can’t write anything, it’s just that the subconscious part of the brain responsible for the about-to-be-published story knows that any moment now it is going to be moving house into the conscious part of the brain to get back into the world of that story for edits. It knows this and is determined to keep the path clear so that when the time comes, it can jump into action. In my particular brain, that path is a chasm I can’t seem to cross – hence the lousy lack of writing.

It doesn’t help that I am nerd-girl excited for the editing process. I’m excited to learn from my fantastic publisher and his readers. I’m excited to get a behind-the-scenes peek into the publishing industry. And I guess all that pent up excitement isn’t helping my current state either – excitement + waiting = melted right brain.

Don’t judge me, I’m still learning. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of this waiting-for-edits thing and manage to churn out some good (ish) things between edits. But for now, I am learning to be patient so bear with me…

Keep writing.

Cristy

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